How come…

kids don’t come with an instruction manual? And why are they all so very different in terms of developmental milestones?

Parents today are under a lot of pressure to do this parenting thing “right” – there’s a “right” way to potty train, to put kids to sleep and where they sleep, to breastfeed, to choose the material their clothes are made of and on and on. I once had a young mother who had an infant who was having trouble breastfeeding tearfully say to me, that she was a “failure because she wasn’t doing her job.”

Thankfully, my daughter is grown and my generation didn’t have quite so many choices or pressures. I can’t even remember which friends breastfed their kids and which ones didn’t. We took for granted that kids develop at their own pace and there was nothing wrong with that. No child went off to college not potty trained.

But today, there’s something in the air that says your child should be (fill in the blank) - talking, walking, building with blocks, knowing his alphabet - by now. This attitude probably makes parents feel they’re doing something wrong, don’t measure up or need to be doing more. Though that might be the case with some young parents, most are doing their absolute best and would do anything for the health and happiness of their children.

I want to hug them all and say, “Relax, your child will get there in her own time.” The best thing any parent can do is to love and enjoy the most precious, valuable and wonderful natural resource we have – our children.